420 ftw
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
