i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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