How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
