I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
id be glad to
one two three fourrrrnication!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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