Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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