He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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