Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
