I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
