i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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