I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize