mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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