I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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