I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
