i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
