..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize