A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
