I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
