He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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