I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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