She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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