this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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