I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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