Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
