She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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