Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
