the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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