What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
