What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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