I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
