Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
