trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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