I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Farmville is her only friend.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My vagina is officially offended.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
