Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
