I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
