I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
