I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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