i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
