I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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