I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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