Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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