no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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