Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
