After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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