well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
