Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
These tits shall not be calmed
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize