I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
