I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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