Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
