I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
two words...techno handjob
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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