I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
