i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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