Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
