I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
