I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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