I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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