Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
