i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have aggressive nipples.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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