Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
